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Today I've been reminded of a deviation I posted over four years ago, after reading "The Virgin Suicides" by Jeffrey Eugenides.
Since I'm not too happy with that old deviation, I decided to give it another try.
Here's the old version: [link]
& here are two new attempts at it: [link] & [link]
Constructive criticism would be very much appreciated!
Please tell me what you think, be it positive or negative or neutral or anything at all 
"What lingered after them was not life, which always overcomes natural death, but the most trivial list of mundane facts: a clock ticking on a wall, a room dim at noon, and the outrageousness of a human being thinking only of herself. Her brain going dim to all else, but flaming up in precise points of pain, personal injury, lost dreams. Every other loved one receding as though across a vast ice floe, shrinking to black dots waving tiny arms, out of hearing. Then the rope thrown over the beam, the sleeping pill dropped in the palm with the long, lying lifeline, the window thrown open, the oven turned on, whatever. They made us participate in their own madness (...) We couldn't imagine the emptiness of a creature who put a razor to her wrist and opened her veins, the emptiness and the calm."
~ Jeffrey Eugenides "The Virgin Suicides" ~
Since I'm not too happy with that old deviation, I decided to give it another try.
Here's the old version: [link]
& here are two new attempts at it: [link] & [link]
Constructive criticism would be very much appreciated!
Please tell me what you think, be it positive or negative or neutral or anything at all "What lingered after them was not life, which always overcomes natural death, but the most trivial list of mundane facts: a clock ticking on a wall, a room dim at noon, and the outrageousness of a human being thinking only of herself. Her brain going dim to all else, but flaming up in precise points of pain, personal injury, lost dreams. Every other loved one receding as though across a vast ice floe, shrinking to black dots waving tiny arms, out of hearing. Then the rope thrown over the beam, the sleeping pill dropped in the palm with the long, lying lifeline, the window thrown open, the oven turned on, whatever. They made us participate in their own madness (...) We couldn't imagine the emptiness of a creature who put a razor to her wrist and opened her veins, the emptiness and the calm."
~ Jeffrey Eugenides "The Virgin Suicides" ~
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